I asked you today what you needed.
“How can I help you feel more safe and trusting?”
It seemed a simple question, yet you hesitated before answering.
Your voice was trembling, like you anticipated the reaction, maybe even heard it before.
Cautiously and quietly you whispered,
“Take time to listen to me. That’s all I need.”
I could see you didn’t trust me, like I had let you down before, possibly more than once.
I couldn’t promise that things would change, for fear my words would not be heard or believed, that I would be doubted.
Nor did I blame you.
I knew only too well I had let you down.
I could see, though your spirit was intact, your trust was broken.
You shared with such courage and yet, I didn’t know if I had what it took to listen and act on your words.
We are both left wondering.
The same question.
The same answer.
Will this time be different?
Is there hope, even now, after all these times.
Will I be heard and get what I need?
I will try again because that’s what love does.
It doesn’t give up.
I told you what I needed.
For so many years, I longed to get what I missed out on as a child from others in my life. I longed and waited for security, reassurance and acknowledgement.
My path has shown me that much of what I need now comes from within me. I don’t need to rely on others to bring me security, answers, direction and clarity. If I take time for prayer and meditation in my day, the still quiet voice inside of me offers me all of that and more. This voice is my soul, my Higher Power, my highest self, my little girl. It is many things and everything. My job is to ask, listen and act.
Love and blessings,